There is a psychiatrist and a social worker. They are very good friends and jogging buddies. They would always go for a jog together. Then there came a time when the social worker was diagnosed with cancer and he had to go through chemotherapy as a form of treatment for the cancer.
During the period, the social worker continues his jogging routine at the same time and the same place. But his psychiatrist friend is no longer found jogging with him. Days passed and months flew, and the social worker did not hear anything from this psychiatrist friend of his. He began to think to himself, 'The psychiatry and social work professional fields are relatively small. Surely he knows or has heard about my physical health condition. Why is it that I have not heard from him?"
After a year of chemotherapy, the social worker recovered from his cancerous condition. And one day, he decided to change his jogging routine. There is a park nearby his workplace and he has decided to try out the new jogging environment.To his surprise, he found his psychiatrist friend jogging in the park. He caught up with his psychiatrist friend and said, "It's been a long time since the last time I hear from you or saw you."After a moment of silence, the psychiatrist friend answered with some awkwardness on his face, "I've heard about your condition…but I didn't know what to do or what to say…"The social worker replied, " I was very hurt. All I wanted was simply to know that you care…"
When this story was told to me by a medical social worker in a hospital, it struck a chord in my heart, and I began to think and reflect on how easy it is for us to be so 'professional' or 'perfect' in our interactions and relationships with people. There is a certain way of doing things and a certain way of saying things, which have been dished out to us and which we sometime buy without thinking much about it.
Prior to this interaction with this medical social worker, I was reading a book titled 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and it was talking about issues on life, death and dying. In it is a statement which leaves an impact in my heart. It says: 'Death ends a life, but death does not end a relationship.'
Most of us are still young in our life stage and may not have people around who are dying. And some of us, even though still young in our life stage, have to deal with a loss or death of a parent, a loved one, or a friend.
Whichever category we may be in, and as much as we want to be diplomatic, respectful, and careful to give the people around us as much personal space as they need (or we think they need), it is worth taking the risk to tell them that we care.
Nothing fanciful. A simple phone call, a simple 'hello', a simple smile, a simple note, a kind word, a simple time spent together and a listening ear. That is all it takes to be God's love wrapped in skin. And that is all it takes to create and leave lasting memories in both our hearts and the hearts of those we love. Perhaps the worth of any lifetime is measured more in kindness than in competency.
To Hester - Thank you for starting the prayer chain, being there at the hospital during my mum's second last day on earth, for helping with the collection and counting of the money during the first night of my mum's wake, for buying lunch during the third day of the wake after you and Adrian have attended church service, and of course your concern shown through your SMSes.
To Melvin, thank you for your sensitivity and thoughtfulness. Thank you for everything.
To Joseph and Sharon - Thank you for being there every night during the wake, helping with the love offering (counting the money and balancing the account is no joke), driving me to deposit the money and subsequently driving me home even though both of you were very tired. And of course, Sharon, thank you for praying with me and allowing me to cry when it was just the two of us at the funeral parlour.
To Doris - Thank you for being beside me during the funeral services, helping to buy dinner on the last night of the wake, your car ministry (Remember the 'camp to heaven' thingy? ), our lunches & dinner together and sharing about your spiritual sight of my mum standing strong beside Jesus.
To P. Dom and Sis. Chin Inn - Thank you for being there during the first night of the wake and for speaking with my Dad. I'll always remember the conversation we have had about Chinese Ministry, Chinese worship and reaching out to the chinese-speaking of my generation. Hee...
To SR407 and YS345 (They are my carecells. How come i got two when i only attend one on Friday evenings? Eh, long story. The main point is that i've been blessed with two sets of spiritual families!) - Thank you for being there at the wake, your concern, your support, your SMSes and for serving during the two night of the wake (Ethel and Val). Especially Ethel, every night need to take cab home from Sin Ming, very 'siong' for her pocket and tiring too.
To Shuhui and Jacqueline - Thank you for taking time-off from your work to meet me at the esplanade. I believe both of you have had a good time eating at the Ichiban Sushi too.
To Angie - Thank you for being there during the first night of the wake, sharing your Teachers' Day gifts and calling me out for dinner and movie right after the funeral has ended.
To Peace, Jennifer, Dawn, Felicia, Shuhui, Jenna and Angeline (My beloved Colleagues) - Thank you for your understanding, for the space given during those moments of grieving and crying, for the box of chocolates, for the packet of caramel sweets, and for covering my work while i was away on compassionate leave. Peace, thank you for believing in me and encouraging me. Thank you for the card you have made. I will remember what you have said to me. Though our time together in Students Care Service have been a relatively short one, you have been a good mentor in my life.
To Candice, Kaiqi, Mee Hing, Susan and her husband (My beloved Colleagues also) - Thank you for being there at the wake, your condolences and your concern.
To Terence, Mei Juan, Lijuan, Soon Onn, Zixia, Daniel and Angel (My beloved supervisor/mentor, colleagues and friends during my placement at Agape Counselling & Training Centre) - Thank you for your concern, your support, your visitations when my mum was still around at home, your condolences, your email and SMSes. Thank you for believing in me. Terence, I rejoice together with you and Huiling at the birth of your baby girl Faith!
To May Yi, Sandi and Jeslyn - Thank you for coming down on the first night of the wake, for being there and our dinners together.
To Vincent, Michelle, Terence, Shufen, Victor, Shuyi, Adrian, Callin, Joanna, Limin and Coco (My fellow Adult Leaders from the youth ministry) - Thank you for attending the wake services, your concern and your prayers.
To Eileen, Coco and Zhihao - Thank you for the cards you have sent. They are in my office cubicle now. Can you see them in the photos?
To Zhichao - Thank you for your condolence and for the chocolate biscuits that were given to me just before the Young Adult Service on Saturday. Sorry, no photos for the chocolate biscuits. They were already in my stomach when i thought of taking photos of them.
To Shuyi (My Former Colleague @ TRANS Centre) - Appreciate your phone call and your concern.
To end, I would like to leave you with a quote from the book 'The Little Prince' as a food for thought:'It's when one sees with the heart that one can see rightly. The important is often invisible to the eyes…'
